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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After the rain, I decided to hit up the local market. You know, the one by the Place de l’Indépendance? It’s always buzzing with life. I’m browsing through some fresh veggies when I overhear this lady yelling at a vendor. Apparently, he sold her rotten tomatoes. I mean, who does that? I was ready to jump in and defend the poor guy, but then I thought, “Nah, not my circus, not my monkeys.”

Day 6: A drag refuge deep in the Luxembourg countryside